you are your own bonsai
so i've been hanging out more in irc channels.
i promise this is at least distantly relevant.
i chatted with erysdren one afternoon about internet archaeology. (i promise this is also relevant.) this turned into talking about preservation—not just preservation of online things like websites, but also of things like personal writings. and the fact that sometimes, we don't want to preserve everything we've done.
we are between two aspects: the instinct to prune and the desire to spare. when it comes to our selves, we are always in this space. what do we choose to carry with us and remember? how do we carry it? (a tattoo, a journal entry, just a memory, an action we take regularly, something we say) and what, just as importantly, do we cleave away, say good-bye to?
we are, in effect, bonsai. we make decisions over years and years about how to grow. we cut carefully (sometimes not so carefully, admittedly), we feed and water our bodies, we encourage this growth or that. we cultivate ourselves.
it's okay to not keep everything. it's okay to know when to say good-bye to something we've done or made or said, or to say good-bye (temporarily or permanently!) to some aspect of ourselves. we're choosing which way to grow next. we can keep the knowledge we gained from it and use that to continue growing ourselves.
me, i'm growing the part of myself that hangs out on irc instead of discord. also the part of myself that likes swimming. and i've pruned away the part that leaves my charging cables out for easy access. and i've trimmed the part that wants to wear t-shirts to encourage the part that loves off-shoulder and tank tops.
so, take care of yourself. you are a lovely bonsai, and the only one you've got.