I hide numbers because I want you to like me
On many, many sites across the web both indie and corpo, at least one element is shared: the upvote. The like. The one-click engagement tool that gives the author the feedback that says...well, it can mean many things, actually, but on one level just "I acknowledge this, and you."
And it's absolutely horrible for me.
I think I'm not alone in wanting feedback (re: likes) from readers on what I post. I'm probably not alone in sometimes equating those likes to praise, to positive feedback, to some kind of recognition that what I post has value to someone else, enough value that they clicked a little button and made a number go up.
And, you know, like a lot of people, I like seeing that number go up. I like thinking "Wow, 30 people liked what I had to say. That's a whole classroom of people." For a moment, I feel liked as a person because of this. On the flipside, if my post only gets one or two upvotes among a sea of 7+, I start to wonder: what did I do wrong? Did I say something wrong? Do they not like me?
You can probably see how destructive this can be.
So I block page elements that render likes, upvotes, and whatnot. Ideally I just block the quantitative aspects of it (I still like being able to give someone else a like or upvote), but when that isn't possible, the whole thing goes out. I have analytics disabled on Bear. (Funnily enough, I still have my little counter on my website, but that number feels "fake" and more decorative, so it's been allowed to stay.)
If you've ever liked or resonated with something I've written or an image I've posted: thank you. It means a lot. But I don't want you to be just a number that validates a part of my brain that seems to have been broken over the back of the engagement farm part of the internet. In that spirit: email me! Tell me what you liked. Maybe it will be a short interaction, or maybe we'll become email penpals, or who knows! That connection will have far more "value" than a number.